Project 2: Place

With the concept of “place” in mind, I came upon my own problems of anxiety as a source. I’d been using visualization at the recommendation of my counselor, and images of protective shells and auras are a comfort to me when I am in a public setting and I feel anxious. My social anxiety manifests with eye-contact or acknowledgement; I often feel I’m being judged or focused on when I am actually not. If I had a barrier between others and myself, while still being present, my anxiety, I thought, could disappear. Deciding to create a literal personal space bubble, I brainstormed for possible forms, settings, and presentations for the project.

Personal space and hiding are the two place-oriented themes I find are most prevalent in my piece. The project somewhat defines personal space, but to the extent that my body is surrounded while inside the shell, sitting down and hunched over. Had I been standing up, surrounded by a shell, the aspect of personal space while in public would have been clearer. The concept of hiding, being hidden, and hiding spots, comes through more clearly, I think. From an outsider’s perception, I am very clearly hiding, while inside I consider myself present in the situation, just invisible.

Deciding how large to make the balloon, and the shell, would affect the final piece greatly; how much space the person inside gets to have defines the line between comfort and claustrophobia. However, if the balloon was too large, I would never get the project finished in time or even be able to fit it outside of the studio. The size I chose was large enough for me to sit inside of, cross-legged, but small enough that i would have to compress myself just a little bit. The hole to crawl inside of, and the space to hide in, ultimately reflected the smallness a person can feel when anxious in public. By minimizing myself, I expressed my emotions.

I believe my project, in the context of hiding, may come across as offensive to some people, as they could feel I am trying to avoid them, personally. Rather, my intention began as finding a way to be a part of a social situation without feeling anxious. Honestly, during the critique I had exactly that reaction to what I was doing, but my audience was more perceptive to my physical absence and the object being self-aware and vocal, rather than me being there, presently.